This site is about how to improve your sex skills. Something that all men should improve for their own sake, and for the sake of the women they have sex with. So previously I have mainly written blog posts on this topic. However with this post on how to succeed on Tinder I wanted to take a step back.
Mastering sex skills is about studying and learning but also about practicing what you have studied. Since tinder is the number one way that we guys meet women these days, I wanted to help you guys to succeed on tinder.
Before I met my current girlfriend I was heavy into tinder. And in this post I decided to boil down all my knowledge into one ultimate guide on how to succeed on Tinder. If you want to master tinder (who wouldn’t?) and if you liked my previous content, I’m sure you’ll love this. So let’s dive in.
Step 1 – Understanding How Tinder Works
There are much more men than women on tinder. According to this article there are about 80 percent men and 20 percent women on tinder. And let’s be honest, if you are about as picky as me, out of those 20 percent women probably only 5 percent are your type. This means that you are in a cutthroat battle with a lot of guys over just a few women. Just like in real life.
Of course this will vary a bit depending on your location. It will be a lot easier in a densely populated area, versus in small towns.
A Stiff Competition
Women on tinder get 20 times more matches then men. This means that the women you just matched with, well, she matched with 19 other guys at the same time.
The first important lesson to take from this if you want to succeed on tinder as a guy, is to not get bitter and disillusioned. Once you learn how to master Tinder, you will meet up with cool women and have fun dates. You just have to be smart about it, knowledge will lead to mastery.
If you want to hook up, this will also happen. Check out this guide for some specific tips on how to do it. Mastering Tinder and getting the results you want are going to take a bit of work and a lot of skills. Are you ready for the ride?
I thought so, just follow these steps and you will be successful.
The second important lesson is that if you want to have a lot of choices (and why wouldn’t you?) you should have great pictures and a great bio. The competition is fierce.
Step 2 – Choose Great Pictures
Some women only look at the pictures. Other like to form their opinion based on both the pictures and the text. But one thing is clear, if she doesn’t like the pictures, she is not going to read the text. Thus your pictures are crucial if you want to succeed on tinder. Choose carefully.
Sure you can pick some bad pictures and hope for the best. But the matches you get are going to be equally disappointing. Attractive high-quality women are not going to swipe yes to a bunch of mediocre vague pictures. Women have a lot of choices on Tinder. This is particularly true for attractive successful women. They are going to be very restrictive about what they let into their life and their phones.
The first picture should be a flattering picture of your face. Use a smile or a half smile and make sure you look inviting. You want her to want to see more, right?
Create a Movie About You
The remaining four pictures should show you in different situations that show in which way you are unique and interesting. When a woman swipes through your pictures she is watching a movie about you.
For every frame she sees she asks herself if those are scenes she would want to be in? Would she want to do what you are doing together with you? So pick photos that are different from each other and show your different sides. Four selfies taken at the gym is the opposite of this. They just show you are narcissistic, don’t have any friends, and a highly unrealistic view about how the world works.
Examples of Good Photos
Images showing when you are trekking, when you are holding a lecture or when you are out with friends for a fun night, are examples of good photos.
Hell, even show a coffee date with your grandma if that is who you are. Generally speaking, family and friends should be present in at least two of the photos. This works as social proof, and social proof is an important aspect to how we form decisions.
If you are one of those people who don’t have a lot of pictures of them self, don’t worry. Just ask a friend to take some. This is 2020, there is no shame in a staged picture. As long as it doesn’t look staged.
Don’t forget to include a full body picture. If you don’t include one, women will assume you are hiding something. And its probably not a ridiculously fit body. Think about how suspicious you get when a woman only has cropped pictures, all of them just showing her face.
Remember you are only as attractive as your least attractive picture, so don’t put up anything just to give her a more realistic view of your looks. Women on Tinder chose the most attractive pictures of themselves. And so should you if you want to master Tinder.
Step 3 – Write an Intriguing Tinder Profile
Your bio is basically an ad for you as a person. But don’t try to sell yourself. Just present the product confident that the right women will recognize a Ferrari when she sees one. She doesn’t need to be persuaded why she needs one.
Exemplify and be Specific
The best ads are the ones who paint a picture that the right buyer would want to be a part of. Be confident in who you are. Don’t be too broad. Fun-loving and adventurous don’t really say anything. Be specific. What does fun and adventure look like for you?
Instead of focusing on the big picture, like how you are hardworking and responsible, try to focus on a couple of smaller details. How does those qualities manifest themselves on a day to day level?
It will be easier for the right girl to relate to your profile the more specific you are. The old saying “show don’t tell” goes a long way. Don’t tell her you are a catch, show her.
Qualifying and using Humor
You can add a qualifier by mentioning something that’s important to you. That makes you come off as less desperate. Which is always attractive. Just make sure you don’t sound negative and bitter.
Don’t make a list about what you are looking for. We all have preferences. But that type of sorting should be done when you swipe.
You don’t want every woman to have a mediocre response to your profile, in line with “he seems nice.” You want the right women to be intrigued. To want to know more.
If you can add a bit of humor, kudos to you. Humor is something women respond very positive too, so give it a go. Have a couple of beers and brainstorm a bit until you come up with a fun line.
When this step is done its time to get some feedback. Ask your female friends what they think about your profile. If they have suggestions for improvements, try them out. This is like doing marketing research. Don’t skip this step. You wouldn’t launch a product without a focus group testing. Women love to give advice, if you want to succeed on tinder, you should take advantage of this.
Step 4 – It’s a Match
With great photos and an interesting profile, you are well on your way to succeeding and you should start getting some matches. The number of matches will depend on your profile and the area you are in. Don’t get too hung up on the result, just keep at it. If the success comes slow, remember the statistics I wrote about in the beginning. Tinder is not easy, and just like mastering anything, mastering tinder takes time. Just like in real life.
Don’t always swipe right, this will show Tinder that you are happy just getting anything and they won’t show you the most popular women. For the same reason you shouldn’t just say yes after looking at only the first picture. This behavior shows tinder that you are not picky and the women you see will be in accordance.
Only say yes to the women you will be exited to match with. When you do get that match, shoot her a message. Tinder will know if you message or not and since they want to keep the women on the app happy, this behavior will promote you.
Remember the statistic, there are a lot fewer women on Tinder so the app will work hard to keep them happy. They can’t afford to lose them. For the same reason you should send a quality message and really invest in the women you do match with. This will not always give result. But that’s just part of the game, not anything to get upset over.
Step 5 – Tinder Chatting Like a Pro
So you matched! Great. Time to write your first message. Don’t settle for a “Hey.” The “Heys” and their cousins “Hi” and “How are you?” may be easy to mass-produce, but that’s also why they usually don’t get a response.
On top of that they are not the opening to a great conversation. They don’t lead anywhere. You want to send a first message that naturally can lead in a lot of different directions. Your goal with the chatting phase should be a fun and interesting conversation that stands out from all the conversations she has with other guys.
Ask Her a Question
Instead of the “Hey” pick something from her bio or her pictures and ask her about that. Make sure it’s a subject that can lead to more questions. If you have a funny and playful side, this is a good time to show it.
However, don’t take the first message to serious, there is still a big risk she won’t reply. Don’t spill your heart out. But do invest some time an effort to craft an interesting message. This might feel like wasted work when she doesn’t reply, but it’s necessary work to get the right women to reply. And it’s also how you hone your skills, skills that will get you plenty of success on tinder, the more you hone them.
There is no way around it. Only a fun and interesting conversation is what will take you to an actual meet up, which is your ultimate goal.
No Compliments on her Looks
Don’t complement her on her looks. She already knows she’s hot. And she hears it from a lot of other men. It gives away too much of your power.
Instead give her a sly compliment on something she is or has achieved, something in line with; I do like a girl that knows her way around homemade pasta. (This was to a girl who had a picture where she was making pasta). And continue with a playful question; tell me what’s your secret to success?
Step 6 – Avoid These Mistakes
The important thing here is to not ask her for her number, or ask her out, too soon. You might think that you are hitting it off and you probably are. She is still not going to give you her number or go on a date too soon.
Not because you are not trustworthy. Maybe you are.
But attractive people usually have a busy schedule and they are not going to give away their time to someone if they don’t think it might be worth it. That is, the two of you will hit it off in real life.
When to Answer
She hasn’t made up her mind yet. That’s ok. Give her some time and a couple of great messages. Don’t always wait hours before you answer. Take some time to chat when you are both on your phones.
Equally important is to not always answer straight away. She will think you are too attached to your phone. No matter if it’s true or not, it will come across as if you don’t have anything more important to do with your time.
When to Ask her Out
It’s also really crucial to not wait too long before you ask her out. If you wait too long you come across as afraid. Your time is valuable, you don’t want to keep investing in her until you meet her. If she is someone worth having in your life, she will feel the same.
One or tops two weeks of messaging should be enough for both of you to decide if you want to go on a date. If the two of you have been chatting a lot, you can playfully ask her for a meetup after just a couple of days.
If she is not responsive to the idea of a date, continue to give her attention, but not as much as before. You can repeat the offer one more time, but not more than that. If she doesn’t take you up on a meet up she might not even be on Tinder for actual meet ups. She might just be after the validation.
Move your time and energy to the next girl. Don’t indulge in a fantasy relationship. You don’t know her. She might not even be cute and fun in real life. A date is the only way to find out who she really is and if the two of you have chemistry.
Step 7 – Meeting up
You asked her for a coffee (or a drink), and she agreed. Feels great right? Sweet success. Choose a place where you feel comfortable. Preferably something a bit original because interesting experiences brings people together. And if it turns out to be a place she likes where she normally wouldn’t have gone, she will already think you are fun to be around.
Know Where to Head Next
Also make sure you prepare a couple of alternatives for what you can do if the date goes well. If the two of you hit it off, it’s good to know where to go next, this way you come across as creative and decisive. If things go well I suggest to try out a cool restaurant. Choose something genuine but not fancy so both of you are able to relax and just have fun.
Do your Homework
Before you meet you should take some time and reread her profile and the chat between the two of you. This is a good way to refresh your memory about her and what you have talked about. While you do this, you can prepare a couple of follow up questions. This won’t come off as stilted, but the opposite, like you care about getting to know her.
Before a date it’s always good to have planned a couple of topic, this way you are prepared for the silence that usually occurs on a date.
A Dynamic Conversation
However, don’t be afraid of silence. Attraction needs silence to grow. And if you are comfortable in a normally uncomfortable situation, you will look even better to her.
Also don’t be afraid of different opinions. Challenge her, don’t agree with everything she says, a dynamic relationship is much more interesting.
Make sure you read this great article about how to hook up with your Tinder date. The strategies work just the same regardless of if you just want to hook up, or if you want something more. A woman wants to hook up with, as well as marry a man she feels connected to. A man she has fun with. No matter your intention, you should follow the steps in the article.
Step 8 – Boost your Game to Become a Master
Your Tinder-dates and ability to succeed on tinder, are only going to be as successful as your ability to attract a woman. If you were not born a natural Casanova (most of us weren’t) no need to sulk. Just like cooking or skiing, charm and sex appeal are skills that can be learned.
Learn How to Create Attraction
There are many great strategies to create attraction. Just knowing a few of them will get you ahead of most men. The internet is full of resources on this subject. In the recommended products section on this website, I recommend my three favorite books on attracting women. Start with checking them out.
Hone Your Skills
However, reading is one thing, and practicing is another. Make sure you practice everything you read. As they say: practice makes perfect.
Tinder is a great place for this. As soon as you get those dates rolling in, you will have plenty of opportunity to improve your ability to attract women. No need for feeling down if one date doesn’t go as you had hoped. Just take it as a lesson and ask yourself what you can improve on the next one.
Here are a few examples on how to create attraction from women, just to get the ball rolling:
Women like to connect on a deep emotional level (don’t we all). A quick way to get away from the small talk and into a more personal territory is to talk about your goals and why they are important to you. But don’t spend to long time talking about yourself. A lot of men do this mistake, it’s not only rude, but it stops her from connecting with you.
Since you have started out being personal, you have taken the lead and she will feel safe following you and doing the same. Ask her about her goals and why they are important to her. A woman feels connected to a man when she tells him personal things about herself. If this feels a little bit too serious for you, just have a playful conversation about her goals for this week.
Make her Feel Good
Be passionate and positive and attentive, this is important because in the end we don’t remember exactly what we said or what the other person said. What we do remember is how they made us feel. Focus on how you make her feel, try to make her feel relaxed and appreciated.
Don’t be attached to a specific outcome, like getting a second date, getting her to like you or even worse: getting laid. Just enjoy yourself and her company.
With those few pointers in mind you should be more than ready for your first date.
Step 9 – Have the Right Mindset
Your tinder profile shouldn’t be the only way you meet women. You should also make sure you have a great lifestyle with plenty of opportunities to interact with all sorts of people. If you don’t have this, you will undoubtedly come across as needy and desperate on your dates. Women are very skilled at picking up what a man is truly about.
When it comes to sex women are the gatekeepers, they are programmed to make sure only the best men enter their life’s. This is a very primal mechanism.
Live a Great Life
If your lifestyle is not a lifestyle that will attract a high-quality woman, you won’t have the results you are dreaming about. You won’t get laid and you won’t get a girlfriend. Or even worse, the only women you will attract are the needy ones that bring a lot of drama to your life.
There is no way to bluffing yourself to the self-confidence that comes from having a great life. Make sure you take care of your body as well as your intellect. Life is meant to be fun. The most charming man is one who truly knows how to enjoy himself.
Most people (at least the ones you want to have in your life) are drawn to positive and energetic people with lots of fun activities going on. To master tinder, this mind frame should be present in your Tinder dating as well as in the rest of your life.
Step 10 – Improve your Bedroom Skills
Do you want to have women going crazy over you? Text and call constantly, and fight for your attention?
I thought so.
There is one crucial step most men overlook. Most men are average in bed. But you can become fucking great in bed. The best she ever had. You can give her pleasure like she never had it before.
To be able to wow and impress a woman, first on the date and later in the bedroom, will make your life a hell of a lot more fun. It will also make things so much more fun for the woman. Most women love to have sex. They love to have sex with a confident attractive man that knows what he is doing. You can become that man.
Better Than Anything She’s Ever Experienced Type of Sex
Knowing that you can last as long as you want and that you have a broad repertoire of tricks, enough to satisfy any woman, will make you fearless. You can also become so good that the sex will be way above anything she ever experienced before.
This little secret will give you that mystery and sex appeal that so many women long for when they go on a Tinder date.
You know that if she chooses you, she is making a great choice and she is in for a treat. And it’s exactly this knowledge that will make you succeed on tinder.
The post How to Succeed on Tinder – 10 Steps That Will Make you Master Tinder appeared first on The Pleasure Keys.