Having sex with someone for the first time can be a nerve-wreaking experience. You want to make a good impression, maybe even impress the woman in question.
Don’t worry, I got your back, with these 10 steps you will be ready to blow her mind. I’ll tell you exactly what you need to know to be confident in bed with a new partner.
Step 1 – Take your Time
Looking back at some of my worst performances before I actually started studying sex and learned how to become amazing in bed, it’s obvious to me that I didn’t feel confident. As a result, I just wanted to get through that first awkward time.
I didn’t feel like what I had to deliver was good enough for several hours of enjoyment, so instead, I settled for delivering a ten-minute painfully bad quickie.
No need to be that guy.
Explore her Body Slowly
A majority of all women take time to become sexually arroused and even more time to reach an orgasm. And since this is the first time you’re in bed with your new parter, you don’t know what she will like. This is an excellent time to find out.
Step 2 – Fake it Until you Make it
Most men are not confident in bed, so you are far from alone. We all have our doubts and insecurities. None of us are as confident as we appear. Let’s be honest, if you never took your time to actually learn about sex, satisfying a woman can be difficult and even scary.
But a surefire way to become more confident in bed with a new partner is to act confident. Behave as a confident person would behave. As a result, you will feel more confident since our actions in themselves create feelings in our bodies.
Do not Encourage yourself
Most people who lack confidence are extremely hard on themselves in their inner monologue. If you can just be aware of this behavior and try to stop yourself, you will become more confident. This is especially true the first time in bed with a new partner, don’t be critical towards yourself.
Accept that you are not going to be perfect.
However, do not combine this practice with an encouraging inner monologue. Telling yourself that you are doing good without actually beleiving it, will just result in yourself reminding yourself that you are not doing good.
Step 3 – Take the Lead
Taking the lead does not mean being insensitive to her input. Taking the lead just means that you set the pace of the encounter and that you are confident in doing so. Use your hands and body to guide her. Tell her when she does something you like. Even asking her what she wants is a form of you taking the lead.
To learn more about taking charge in bed I recommend my blogpost: how to take charge in bed as a man.
Another fun tip is to not treat a sexual experience as a linear experience. Don’t be afraid to backtrack to what you were doing before. If you give her oral sex, she will expect intercourse after that, so instead, go back to just kissing.
You as a man have a lot of power in the bed, use that power to mix things up, and don’t always try to get to the next level.
You are confident enough to not give into yourself and her right away. You are confident enough to deescalate the interaction, that is sexy.
Step 4 – Be Present
Mindfulness is a popular concept for a reason. When we are fully present, or as present as we can be, there is no worries and thus no lack of confidence. We don’t think about our performance, we just exist.
Mindfulness Takes Practice
Mindfulness means letting go of your thoughts and focusing on the present moment.
You can anchor yourself in the experience you are having right here and now by focusing on the sensations you are feeling. Ask yourself how the sensation of skin against skin feels or what you are smelling.
Practice mindfulness out of the bedroom and bring those tools to that first time sleeping with a new person.
Mindfulness will take away some of the pressure since you are focusing on just being and not on performing.
Step 5 – Let go of Expectations
Often in life, our expectations of having a good time is the enemy of actually having a good time. This is particularly true when it comes to sex.
We might have a romanticized movie about what things should look like in bed. Or as is the case for some men, having too much imagery from porn. Both of those things put unnecessary pressure on our performance.
Accept Everything, Even Your own Shortcomings
Our expectations of a particular situation are often what makes that situation so difficult to deal with. If you want to create a perfect moment for your lady, the risk is that you forget to actually enjoy the experience.
Women can always sense when you are just putting on a show.
Don’t bring a preconceived notion of how it is going to be, or even about her experience, and you will be a much better lover. As a result, you will feel more confident in bed with your new partner.
Step 6 – Be vulnerable
It’s a big misconception among most men that they need to be strong to be attractive. In fact, the opposite is true. When someone is vulnerable, we bond more closely with them.
Women absolutely love when a man is vulnerable, especially a man they are attracted to. This is especially true in the bedroom.
Face your fears
If you want to make that first time memorable, be vulnerable. Open up and tell her things about yourself that you seldom share.
Before you enter the situation be honest with yourself about everything you fear. You can even write down your biggest insecurities when it comes to being in bed with a new partner. The ability to be truly vulnerable with other people starts with us being vulnerable with ourselves.
Step 7 – Communicate
You probably heard it before and I’m going to tell you again, all great sex start with great communication. In fact, having sex is a form of communication.
Having sex with someone new is about getting to know that person. You discover things about that person with the help of your hands and your mouth. If you are wondering anything you can just ask.
Being in bed with a new partner is also about discovering things about yourself.
When to Communicate
One of the best times for communication about sex is after the sex. Both of you are relaxed. Seize this moment for some heart-to-heart communication. Sex is about intimacy and closeness. Part of that magic happens when you talk with each other. The conversation doesn’t have to be about the sex itself. Open up and allow her to do the same.
Step 8 – Be Masculine
You want another tip on how to be great in bed?
Sure you do.
When you know how to channel your true masculine energy you will feel more confident in the bedroom.
You might ask how exactly you are going to be masculine.
Do the following: take up space, look her deep into her eyes, speak slowly. Don’t rush your actions.
How to be Masculine in Your Life
Outside of the bedroom is important to have a good exercise routine so that you feel confident about your body. When we treat our body like something we cherish we feel more proud.
Another pro-tip is to do things even if they make you feel uncomfortable. To be masculine is to be able to challenge yourself and step up to that challenge. That goes for all areas of life.
Another way to be masculine is by going after what you want, yes, this is particularly true in the bedroom.
Step 9 – Don’t be too Serious
When women list the qualities they want and appreciate in a man, humor always makes the top three.
This is because life is serious as it is, and humor just make all the hardship so much more bearable. That goes for sex as well.
So, if you make a mistake in the bedroom don’t beat yourself up. Just laugh at it together with your partner and have a humble intimate moment.
Becoming more confident is a lot about how you handle the situation when something doesn’t go according to the plan. You should handle the situation by being easy-going and a little bit funny about it.
Be Comfortable with Whatever Happens
A Woman can always sense how comfortable you are around her. Take some time and reflect on how anything regarding sex is completely natural and part of the human experience.
Even the bad, uncomfortable moments, are natural.
The more you can handle sex with ease, the more comfortable the woman will feel with you and the more confident you will come across.
Step 10 – Expand your Knowledge When it Comes to Sex
Knowledge makes us feel confident.
You know that feeling when you have studied hard for a test and feel confident that you know everything there is to know, sex can be like that as well.
You don’t have to fumble around in the dark. Sex is a skill that can be learned. Learning how to become an amazing lover will make you feel confident in bed with a new partner.
You will know that you have a whole toolbox of cool and powerful tricks to bring to the table. And you will know that you are an amazing lover.
Most Men Don’t Learn About Sex
When it comes to sex most men have no education, instead they learn by trial and error. But sex is just like any other area. By extending your knowledge, you will become masterful.
Just like you would learn how to read a map or how to play tennis, you can learn to become an impressive lover.
How to Become Amazing in Bed
When it comes to ways to becoming comfortable in bed with a new partner, really the best way, is to become amazing in bed. By knowing that you are really fucking good in bed and that you can give women more pleasure than they ever experienced before, you will become highly confident in bed, regardless of if its with a new or existing partner.
If you want to become this type of man, I recommend my ultimate guide to become an amazing lover – The Master Key.
The post How to be Confident in Bed With a New Partner – 10 Easy Steps appeared first on The Pleasure Keys.